Well. Here’s the thing.
I don’t really have an ex.
Yeah, I know.
BUT YER 17 ZOMG HOW WHAT WHY
Well. Because I just don’t.
Really, my current boyfriend is the only person that could be considered an ex, but since he IS in fact Current Boyfriend, I use that term loosely.
THUS. This post isn’t going to be ‘things you want to say to an ex’. [I mean really. Am I supposed to make someone up and talk to someone nonexistent? I can do that, trust me. But I don’t want to. And to my boyfriend? What then? HAI BABE, LOVE YOU? Come on.]
So instead, I give you Things You Want To Say To People [mainly female, but most of these things work for guys too] In Relationships Where Someone Will Wind Up Having An Ex And Being Able To Answer This Question Correctly.
Moar bullet points!
- Get. The hell. Off. Of Facebook. Seriously. It’s cute for a day or two, and then you can keep alllll your relationship nonsense TO YOURSELF. I’m happy for you, and I’m glad you’re happy and all, but I don’t care. This is the same for people who are in a new relationship every single week [because I know a few of those] and those who are long-term. If you feel the need to blab on and on about the good – and bad – in every one or any one of your relationships, get off the computer and get yourself a diary. Those of you who DO have a different relationship all the time? This might help stop that. When you’re complaining and spilling all your relationship details to virtually everyone you know, you’re bound to make your partner less than amused. And when you turn around a few hours later or the next day babbling about how great they are….you just look like a raging moron to the rest of the world.
- Facebook or not, quit complaining in general. If you’re not happy, don’t be in said relationship. If you can think logically for half a second and realize you’re being a pigheaded bitch and that the other person isn’t actually nearly as bad as you’re making them seem, then try to stay in that mindset. Nobody should have to put up with whiny female drama, and if the guy you’re with DOES, and isn’t otherwise a douche, then contain yourself and make it worth it. Refrain. From being. A psychobitch. For everyone’s sake.
- Piggybacked onto the last point: Drama. Stop it. All of it. Just stop. Pretend you’re not in high school. Pretend you’re in the real world. Because, oh wait, you are.
- For those NOT in relationships: Forget about that fact. Quit whining about how you’re not with anyone, and about anyone you used to be with. Whining and crying and stuffing yourself full of ice cream or taking a baseball bat to their car is NOT going to make anything better, make them love you, or make you any less single. In fact, generally speaking, all of the above things are going to make you the exact opposite of all that.
- Back to Facebook with people who jump in and out of relationships. This for females. Please for the love of all things good, STOP whining about how much guys suck. Seriously. Either stop dating assholes, or stop acting like you’re queen of the world. If you weren’t so high maintenance you wouldn’t have that problem. Not the issue? Like I said, quit dating people who suck. It’s not guys that are the problem here. It’s you, or the ones you date. Quit acting like it’s everyone. Get your head out of the sand.
Live your own life and figure out how to be happy by yourself before you try doing anything with anyone else, because chances are – unless you are incredibly lucky – if you can’t be happy with you, no one else will either. And then you’re both miserable. In which case, that whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing? It’s you.
Already in a relationship?
Be happy, learn to compromise, realize it’s not all about you and be willing to share. If you can’t do that, it’s not going to work no matter how much you cry. If you go into something expect the guy to give you chocolate and flowers for life [even if it starts that way] you’re kidding yourself. It doesn’t happen. And I’m not saying that guys are douchebags who don’t care: They’re not. [Some are, but so are some girls. Losers are losers any way you slice it and you should be able to judge that.] There’s a point in relationships where you’re past the ‘wooing’ stage. If you’re in a relationship because you want to be treated like a princess 24/7, you’d better wipe away your mascara tears and get a dog or something, because you’re not a princess. Suck it up.
In a relationship and happy?
So….That’s about it, I think. Pent-up irritation, can you tell? I have a feeling Facebook kills more relationships than actual couples. Sigh. DIARIES PEOPLE, GET THEM AND MAKE USE OF THEM. I totally understand venting can make you feel better. Venting to everyone you know, however, causes way more problems than you originally had.
[And yeah. I know. “BUT YOU’RE JUST A KID TOO. HOW DO YOU KNOW?” I don’t ‘know’. I’m 3 weeks short of 18, and have had one boyfriend. That said, most people my age have either had none, or gone through more partners by this time than I go through socks in the winter. I’ve been in a virtually problem-free, long-term relationship and I’ve learned things. So, sure, most of this is angled at people my age who have yet to learn the same things. You old people: Just go to Cosmopolitan.com. Seriously.]
That is all.
Tomorrow’s topic: Your views on mainstream music.