This is Probably the Most Extensive ‘About Me’ I’ve Ever Bothered With. Please Feel Free to Ignore it

Reddit made me do it.

[Rather, this post. Simply, “Who are you?” Clearly that’s enough of a prompt for me to write a small novel.]

Reddit told me ‘this is too long’ when I went to submit, so instead of drastically reducing the size of my post – too sleepy for editing. Way too sleepy –  I figured I’ll make a short version for there, and post the real one here. Because why not? I’d might as well put it somewhere, and if you don’t care you don’t have to read it. Everybody wins.

___________

“Something about yourself.” I write too much when offered prompts like that. Far too much. [Edit after writing: I bow in advance to anyone who actually reads this whole thing. I’m sorry there’s no rainbow at the end for you, because you fucking deserve one.]

Simply put: I’m a teenage girl. That should clear most things up.

More elaborately put: I’m an 18-year-old girl, just graduated. Life long homeschooler. Never been to a real school. I was part of a high school journalism program at an esteemed journalism college when I was 14 and that’s the closest I’ve ever been to school apart from Sunday school. [And that was years ago, when I went every week and considered myself Catholic. Now I have more of an Agnostic viewpoint, as I don’t feel like being the asshole who insists they know something they have no way of knowing.]

I don’t really have any major talents: Rather, instead of being spectacular at one or two things, I’m moderately good at a slew of things. I’m one of those weird crafty people. I make a lot of things; most of them are mediocre, but it entertains me.

I spend way too much time on the internet, as I don’t have a job yet. [Other than babysitting, which is sporadic at best.] I’m not really planning on college, but I’m not against it. Mostly I just don’t know what to go for. I like so many things I find it difficult to pick one to focus on. I go back and forth with things a lot. I guess writing’s always been a big thing for me, and I could be happy with that. I just don’t know what area to go with. I also think I’d be painfully happy with interior design, but I wouldn’t have the first clue of how to go about that. Truthfully, while I’m not miserable at home, I’m looking forward to moving out and starting stuff; I’m just terrified about what to do and don’t really have any clue of how to get there. Mostly because I’m not sure where I’m going.

My life would probably be a lot simpler if all the space in my brain that holds random ideas and daydreams and song lyrics [seriously. Thousands. I don’t know if mesmerizing lyrics so easily is considered a talent, but if it were an Olympic sport…I’d be up there, man.] held more important things. That said, I kind of like it this way. It’s frustrating and because of it I’m not too great at concentrating on things like math, but hell. I don’t want to do anything involving crazy amounts of math and whatnot anyway, so whatever. [And, I DID pass my GED math section with over the average score, so that’s cool. Considering I hadn’t done math work for a number of years before studying for the test for three months, I’m content. Scored the full 800 on reading too, so that’s cool also. {And yeah, GED. Homeschooled: Multiple ways to go about diplomas. That’s the one I chose. Happy with it.}]

My favorite movie has been Labyrinth for years. [Yeah….not Pan’s Labyrinth. Labyrinth. The ’86 one with David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly? That movie is the shit.] I have my dad to thank for that. I think I have my dad to thank for a lot of how I turned out. I have two just barely younger sisters, and out of them, my parents and me, the only people in my house who like movies like Labyrinth and The Neverending Story are me and my dad. And since he’s the one who had us watching them so early…and since they are the polar opposite of anything my mom likes…I think he’s a lot of why I am who I am. Same with music. I consider my favorite band Alkaline Trio, but I have my dad to thank for my love of the Rolling Stones. And a ton of other bands similar [and completely not similar] to them.

Since I’m thanking people for things, I’d feel weird if I didn’t mention my 6th grade language arts teacher. [Yeah I know I said homeschooled. I took online classes for a few years here and there. Not fully, just certain subjects. And I wrote for the online-publication student newspaper. Was good for me.] I was actually in 7th grade at the time I took the class, but it was mandatory to take the 6th grade class first. And god am I glad I did. If it weren’t for that class and her weekly chatroom ‘parties’, I would have literally none of the friends I have now. [Okay. I’d have two. But we’re not too close and that’s just because I knew them before the class.] Every single person I know stems from that somehow. I was in that class when I was 12, and I’m still really good friends with a number of people I met in it. One of them has been my boyfriend since I was 15. Through him, I have all of my gamer friends. [I’m not as much a gamer nerd as some people and I won’t pretend to be, but I do my fair share. I played WoW for a while, last year of Wrath. Computer’s too useless to run it now. And moneyz. Grew up on a PS2 addicted to Sly Cooper, Rayman and the original Spyro trilogy. Still have a soft spot for all of them. Never had a Nintendo anything growing up. My parents didn’t love me, clearly.] Through other friends, somehow or another, I’ve met everyone else. It’s really weird to think about. What’s weirder to think about is what my life would be right now if I HADN’T done that class or any of the classes.

My mom and I butt heads a lot, but I’ve grown up a bit in the past couple years and figured that most of the time, it’s not worth it. Just shut up and ignore it and it goes away and then we’re fine. Whoop.

I’d say I’m probably a little bipolar, but then, I’m a girl, so that’s practically a given. Generally I’m easy-going and a relatively happy person, but PMS is a royal bitch. [I know, I know “YOU CAN CONTROL IT, STOP WHINING”. If you have it, you know how it is. If you don’t….I’d be jealous of you if I didn’t have more clothing options and other up-sides. But I’m still a little jealous.]
I have a number of really close friends around my age, a couple that are a bit younger. Most of them are older. I’ve always gotten along better with people older than me. Generally speaking, people my own age bother me. Always have.

I wouldn’t say I’m an introvert, but I tend not to tell people things. I’m usually pretty outgoing and friendly, usually pretty confident. But there’s that little corner of my being that’s seriously mentally fucked up. That’s the part that lets things get to me, over thinks, toils over mostly unimportant things and makes me want to be a completely different person. I’m not really sure if it’s that part, or the happy one that stops me from babbling about everything to people willing to help, but I just about always do. It’s not that I feel I CAN’T talk to anyone – I know there are plenty I can talk to, plenty I’m happy talking to, and plenty that are willing to listen – but rather that I don’t like spewing my bullshit at everyone else. I’m happily the person who will listen to your most banal problems at four in the morning and never whine about it. But I don’t know if I’ve ever called/texted/emailed anyone else over my own problems in the middle of the night. [Apart from my parents when I was little and had nightmares. And since my mom was spectacular at not waking up – at least, not when I was old enough to remember their reactions – I eventually quit bothering. Maybe that has something to do with it.] I just don’t feel like bringing people down with my petty problems.

I guess I do that with good news too, though. I know plenty of people would be happy for me, but I tend not to make a big deal about things. I only told a few people that I’d gotten my diploma and test results. Didn’t post a big happy picture holding it on Facebook like everyone else. Couldn’t decide whether I should or not, so I didn’t. Standard.

That probably makes me sound boring. I guess I am sometimes. But most of the time I’m up for new things and I’m not really scared of too much. [Really don’t like spiders. At least, not big ones. Tiny little ones get to live in my bathroom and I tend to give them Spanish names.] More often than not, the most downright scared I am is when I scare myself. I have a very active imagination.

I’m kind of afraid I’m going to wind up going my whole life without ever really doing anything. And then I try telling myself that it’s okay if that happens: Happiness is a choice and it’s best to make it. But I know how I am, and working some cubicle job would make me miserable. On the flipside, I’m extremely good at talking myself out of things I’d like. [Because it’s either too hard, too expensive, too pointless, too disappointing for everyone else….And usually it’s none of those. But again, active imagination. My brain is really a bitch, sometimes.]

Really, I’m a daydreamer. Stupid people bother me; I like people with strange thoughts; I love dogs – big ones. Little ones bother me, despite the fact I have two. Maybe that’s why they bother me; I’m easily amused and usually hard to bother; unless you really, really know how to do it, you’ll have a difficult time really offending me; I have a terrible sense of humor ranging from stupid to horrible; I want tattoos but I’m trying to plan them so they aren’t too much of a problem for jobs, since I’ll have enough trouble in that area without putting more on myself. And I hate that such a plan is necessary, but what can you do; I want to travel; I want to not get cancer and die early like so many of my relatives, but I have a fairly awful gene pool [most of which comes from my dad’s side as well] and chances are not necessarily good; I have a bad habit of altering things like furniture and clothes without any major plan or foresight – sometimes they turn out nice, sometimes they don’t; I’m painfully sarcastic, and if I’m mean to you and you didn’t directly do anything to make me hate you, chances are I really like you; again, I write too much when offered things like this.

Way, way too much. Too much for any sane person to read. Forgive me. Or don’t. Up to you.

TLDR – I’m a girl. I do stuff. Sometimes I don’t do stuff. But I want to do stuff. Not really sure how to go about it. One of those things I do is write way too much. Otherwise, unimportant details.

I’m really good at spilling my soul to nobody in particular.

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About TheChaoticCloset

I'm pretty much your average 19 year old girl. I'm kind of rabidly into anything artsy [well. I adore most anything in the realm of 'art'. Doesn't mean I'm good at it all.] including fashion. After becoming sort of obsessed with Polyvore.com, I decided to create this. It'll probably mostly just be a giant, chaotic mess of all my little projects, loves, wants, obsessions and some random things I find along the way. Enjoy - or don't; Really, it's up to you.
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